翻譯: 龍井茶歌 A Song of the Dragon Well Tea

Song of the Dragon Well Tea was the first academic/literary translation project that I’ve had the chance to work on after graduating in 2019. The piece was a play written by Qing literati Wang Wenzhi (1730-1802), under the commission of the Qing Court ahead of the Qianlong emperor’s visit to Hangzhou. The original Chinese source text was based on the version recorded in Tenghuating shiwu zhong, and has to be punctuated before translation.《龍井茶歌》是我19年畢業後有幸參與的第一個學術/文學類的翻譯項目。這齣戲劇由清代文人王文治（1730-1802）受命委約而作，以迎接乾隆皇帝南巡杭州之行。中文原文使用了清道光《籘花亭十五種本》裡的無斷句版本。

Super grateful to Prof Tan Tian Yuan for this generous opportunity to co-translate the work together, and for his guidance and advice – this project was also my first sneak peak into the rigour, attention to detail, and demand for pre-translation research that goes behind understanding the source text, all of which have influenced my approach towards subsequent translation works. 在此非常感謝陳靝沅教授能給我參與這個翻譯項目的機會和耐心指導！正是這次機會讓我藉機窺探到文學翻譯前所需要做的調查量、對細節的深究和嚴謹程度，而這些都深深影響了我之後解讀翻譯原文的方式。

This translation is published in the book A Topsy-Turvy World: Short Plays and Farces from the Ming and Qing Dynasties (edited and introduced by Wilt L. Idema, Wai-yee Li, and Stephen H. West), a wonderful collection of English translations of the lesser-known Ming/Qing short plays, which shed light on the daily lives of Chinese and belief system. 本篇翻譯收在A Topsy-Turvy World: Short Plays and Farces from the Ming and Qing Dynasties (伊维德、李惠儀、奚如谷編)，裡面也同時收錄了多篇較為少見的明清短劇的英譯本，以從中展現古人的日常生活和信仰習俗。

The full version and book can be ordered from the Columbia University Press. the full digitalised and punctuated Chinese source text could be seen on TEXTCOURT, a project that develops a digital archive of Chinese court drama texts。全文和書均可以在哥倫比亞大學出版社網站購買。《龍井茶歌》中文原文在 TEXTCOURT (明清宮廷戲劇文本數碼化研究項目)閱讀。

翻譯：戰火下的華文記憶

PRISM/ Theory and Modern Chinese Literature Vol 19 No. 2. Issue editors: Chan Cheow Thia and Carlos Rojas.

Received this journal back in Feb, but wasn’t able to read in-depth until recently, after clearing a work-related exam. This volume is an invaluable collection of the discussions on SEA (Chinese?) literature through lens of oceanic epistemologies, (flash/historical) fiction, (Chinese/ Malay-Hokkien) poetry, and popular literature. Also very grateful for the opportunity to contribute a tiny part as a translator for Prof Ko Chia-cian’s work – “Chinese-Language Memories under the Conflagration of War – On the Martyrdom of Chung Ling High School’s Teachers and Students” (戰火下的華文記憶：論檳城鍾靈中學師生殉難事件). The continuous efforts by CHLS teachers and students to remember and document the past tragedy of war, is truly admirable. Many thanks to Prof Chan for the revising my translation and providing feedback, and special thanks to my friend Yuan Ting for the recommendation!! The full articles and/or book can be purchased at the Duke University Press: https://read.dukeupress.edu/prism/issue/19/2  

教箏有感16：水結晶

去年下半年時有一名新學生，大人。這名學生對古箏很有興趣，態度也很好，很認真，但就是手指協調能力較弱，對節拍的切分很模糊，再加上工作忙，練習次數不多，所以學琴進度比較慢。儘管我盡最大努力耐心教導，並適當給予鼓勵，但學生仍然進度遲緩，進步甚微。我心裡非常著急，卻又感到束手無策，每次下課都有一種無力感湧上心頭。雖然課間仍然保持克制與鼓勵，但語氣間或多或少夾雜著些許的不耐煩。

一次下課回家後，我忍不住向媽媽吐槽了一番。本想說媽媽教學那麼多年，見過各式各樣的學生，應該會站在我這邊，沒想到她卻批評我：「你說學生沒有學琴的天賦，說不定那是你自己沒有教學的天賦，激發不起學生的聰明勁！人家只是過來調節心情的，又不是走專業的，你幹嘛要把氣氛弄得那麼緊張，那麼嚴肅？你嘴上對他們耐心，心裡卻暗自腹誹，人家其實也能感覺出來呀！很多東西在無形中形成，也在無形中毀壞。所以學生學得好不好，完全在於你身為老師怎樣把關！」

我豁然開朗，接下來的幾堂課都盡量調整心態，就算學生仍然學得慢，但我就不去計較這些，而是把更多精力放在教學的過程和微小的進步中。因此剩下的幾堂課都是在比較愉快的氣氛中度過的。不知是不是我學會把心態放輕鬆了，學生突然也有了較顯著的進步！上週是與這名學生的最後一堂課，我們也很愉快地與彼此道別。很感謝媽媽那時的提點，才讓我們短暫學琴之旅畫上句點。

《蓮花謠》感想

事隔半年後第一次重聽……終於對自己的許多不完美稍稍釋懷…

練《蓮花謠》時所面對的最大難關，既不是時間不夠，也不是技巧挑戰。這並非說我時間充裕或對技巧勝券在握，只是說，時間不夠可以安排，見縫插針，技巧不好 可以堅持練習，總有辦法儘量克服。

最難克服的一關是心魔。

明明是一首唱頌蓮花出淤泥而不染、無懼困境的樂曲，而我練著練著卻察覺，自己彈的不是音樂，是慾望。

《蓮花謠》是初賽的指定曲目，只有通過初賽才能進入決賽，而我實在是太想進決賽了 – 這種強烈的意念滲入我的音樂裡，所彈的一音一句都是刻意的、拘束的，抑制的。我越想控制自己的音樂走向，彈得卻越不盡人意；越糾結比賽的結果，越無法浸入作音樂的過程。

這些與音樂無關的顧慮積聚，讓自己的音樂變得不純粹。以這種心態彈奏一首歌頌高潔純摯精神的曲子，絕對是一種諷刺。

轉折點是初賽半個月前，我到植物園賞睡蓮。當時正是十月尾，已錯過蓮花盛開之時，又下著小雨，所以整個池塘一片慘淡，池水裡混濁不堪，走近還能聞到雨水和池藻積攢所散發出的泥腥味。蓮花多數早已枯萎，半沉半浮泡在水裡，腐爛著並加重池水的混濁。但剩下的幾株未凋零的蓮花，卻仍挺直腰桿，揚起頭，努力將花托出上漲的水面，就算花瓣在細雨夾雜的寒風中不斷顫抖也絕不屈折。

此景恰如周敦頤所形容：「中通外直，不蔓不枝，香遠益清，亭亭淨直。」無畏自身條件之窘迫，無懼周遭環境之惡劣，無視旁人之蜚語，專注做自己該做的事，這才是我彈琴該有的心態吶！

今天吃完晚飯剛想去樓下走走，迎面迎來對門鄰居夫婦。他們壓著嗓子跟我說，樓下那家的男主人前幾天走了。聽說是無徵兆的心臟病，才五十歲出頭。

原來這幾天在樓下擺白事竟然是相識人！我連忙下樓走近靈堂朝著堂內的黑白照望過去，果然，相框裡框著的是熟悉的模樣，梳著一絲不苟的三七髮型和嚴謹的黑框眼鏡。他的妻子正在招待前來弔唁的親友，我向她走過去，她朝我點頭致意，我想說點什麼，但卻不知道該說什麼，最後只是吞吞吐吐地憋出一個「我很抱歉」。她妻子再次向我點了點頭。此時的空氣凝固地令人窒息，我沒有勇氣上前瞻仰逝者儀容，隨便唐塞幾句後就轉身落荒而逃。

樓下一家似乎是十年前搬進來的，剛搬進來時裝修聲很大，把我們一家和左鄰右舍吵得連去附近的鄰里圖書館「避難」。那時他們的女兒還小，每天哭哭鬧鬧，聲音大得很。這麼多年下來，我們兩家彼此交流也不多，最多也就是上下電梯的幾十秒中淺淺交談。

幾年前我在房間組建一套宜家矮櫃，其中有一個步驟就是用錘子往櫃子後板敲入三十枚釘子。儘管我已經往地板墊上一層報紙和一個枕頭，可是聲音還是很大，我就下樓跟鄰居說了一聲。當時下午只有女主人在家，我向她解釋了一番，她就笑著揮揮手，連說「沒關係，都理解」。

去年我參加比賽前幾個月給左鄰右舍都發了小紙條，上面記著練琴時間和頻率，等比賽結束後也給他們一家送去了小禮物以示謝意。開門的正是男主人。當我表明來意後，男主人大手一揮，連連說「不會吵！很好聽！」他還說他從小聽姐姐練鋼琴長大，所以已經習慣家裡每天琴聲縈繞了。「我聽你彈，聽到你有進步，那就好了。」他笑道。我當時就想，真是同樣的人才進一家門。

去年的聖誕節前夕，我下樓倒垃圾時剛好碰到他們一家要上樓，他們遞給我了一盒費列羅，祝我聖誕快樂。這是我第一次也是最後一次見到他們全家團聚的樣子了。

相識卻不相熟的樓下家先生，一路走好。

(13.02.23)

Review: The Art of Practising by Madeline Bruser

Finished reading in the first quarter of this year, but did not have the time (and mood) to write a review until now. Two biggest takeaways from this book are – the importance of stretching, relaxing, and posture; and being unafraid to show vulnerability when you play.

I vaguely recall myself slightly scoffing at the pages and pictures of stretching exercises at first, but the subsequent examples, personal annecdotes, and anatomic rationales that Bruser detailed soon had me convinced. In one instance, she shared how her music just flowed out when she gradually relaxed her posture, compared to before where she was just “holding on to the music for [herself]” (p.63-64). In another instance, she recounted how a teacher burst into tears upon seeing her own posture (slouched over the piano), when all the while she has been reminding her own students about the importance of good posture. Just doing simple stretches before practising, as Bruser had advised, would greatly help the body to relax and unwind. These would also function as mental cues for the mind to switch off from whatever previous activity it was on (for me, it’s often work). As someone who often falls back into old habits of playing with a tensed posture and forgetting to breathe, I see these stretches as external regulators for myself until relaxing and breathing becomes an instinctive part of my playing and practising (or perhaps it’s more like an endless cycles of tension-relaxation-integration each time we approach new works?). Preparing for the competition finals had furthered my appreciation of the importance of breathing and relaxing while playing – there were moments in the piece where I had to slightly elongate a harmonic beyond the meter to create a fleeting yet everlasting effect, but could never get the timing, the tone, or the feeling just right, no matter how many times I practised. Only after I learnt to relax my body right before the harmonic did the music leaped straight out (credit goes to this masterclass video conducted by Professor Fan-Chiang Yi and created by the awesome musician and piano teacher Ms. Chiang. 問：如何演繹若有似無，近似臨界點的聲音？答：“很多同學…他們都很想把東西做到很極致…但都常常是在那一瞬間想要去量 多一刻少一刻時，身體可能就會有一点不自然的緊… 太刻意反而氣會不順。” Q: How does one depict music of inbetweenness? A: Many students wish to play the music to utmost perfection. But it is often in that moment of deliberation – a bit longer, a bit shorter – that the body starts to tense up unnaturally. Too much intentionality impedes breathing. (5:26 – 7:11)). As Bruser aptly concludes: “Musicians often confuse being emotionally intense with being physically tense. Intense expressiveness and power come not from overtightening the physiological mechanism that produces the sound but from freeing that mechanism to work smoothly and efficiently.” (p.136)

On showing vulnerability, i.e. mistakes and personal flaws – we as audiences are all human and hence intrinsicly flawed, so it would often be the more open, vulnerable, and slightly imperfect playing that moves us the most. Granted, as musicians, this is not an excuse to ignore our playing mistakes during practise, but rather, a reminder to not try to hide our imperfections to the point of sacrificing the rawness and genuineness of the music. In the past, there were times when I was so insecure and concerned about exposing the flaws in my playing that I closed off my heart and did not go all out (or, all in to the music), which always resulted in subpar and mediocre playing with unnatural intentions that did resonate with myself or the audiences (and ironically, exposing my flawed playing in the process). In Chinese art philosophy, there has always been anthithetical discussions of the “work of man” (huagong, 畫工) and the “work of nature” (huagong, 化工), where works that embody the forces of the former always seem to have traces of human deliberation, while the latter exhibits such naturalness and flawlessness to the point it seemed otherworldly. While I see the contradiction in likening showing vulnerability with flawless works of nature, I would like to think of the works to be flawless in the intention and not the execution (though admittedly in truly great works the two are rarely contradictory). Just as nature itself is filled with what we would consider as “imperfections” (dirt, death, decomposition) but we remain deeply moved by its genuine beauty each time we are in its presence, grand or minuscle, good works and good music would have the same effect with its uncalculated, unfeigned, and unabashed power of beauty.

Sharing some more really good quotes while trying not to overshare to avoid copyright infringement:

• “If you do practise straight scales, practice them in a muscial way. Change the dynamics, or even vary the phrasing or the timing. Most important, listen to each note. A scale is a fantastic thing. It’s the basis of our musical language. Each note has a different psychological value, a tendency to settle or to lead to another note. Take time to appreciate the effect of each sound. Notice how it feels in the context of the entire scale. You can discover endless possibilities by enjoying scales this way.” (p.143)
• “Mistakes are educational. Just as in playing music, if you make mistakes you discover your weakness and you have a chance to improve. You don’t have to be a perfect teacher. You can say to the student, ‘I’m sorry. I was wrong. I was not the best teacher today.'” It takes guts, but it makes you more human in the student’s eyes and it encourages him to be equally genuine with you.” (p.150)
• “Instead of fully expriencing sound, we often gloss over notes and struggle to manipulate a phrase to fit our preconceived idea of it. We try emphasizing different notes and adding crescendos, decrescendos, and subtle fluctuations of rhythm and tempo, but it never feels right. no matter how much we try, we can’t make the music fall into place and lie flat because we have unwittingly stretched it out of shape. No matter how interesting our intellectual conception of a piece may be, it cannot be convincing if we do not completely hear the sounds.” (p.167)
• “Some performers try to protect themselves from fear by pretending they’re alone in the hall, with no audience present. They feel threatened by the audience, so they ignore the rows of people who have come to enjoy fine music and have welcomed them with applause…… Fear is energy. If you allow it to flow through you, you transform it into fearlessness. Bravery doesn’t mean that you don’t feel afraid… It’s when you feel frightened of a situation but step into it anyway that you demonstrate courage… Sometimes we’re afraid of failure… In any case, we’re afriad of the unknown in ourselves, of the self deep inside that is about to rise to the surface and become known – visible, audible, palpable. If we don’t continually give birth to ourselves through creative acts, we perpetuate a fearful existence. We can keep growing only if we face our fear and dare to step forward through it.” (p.228-299)

TENG Insider Series II | 鼟《知琴人》第二季字幕翻譯

今年又有幸參與本地華樂團 The TENG Company （恭喜改名！）TENG Insider （鼟《知琴人》系列）第二季的影片字幕翻譯。在此依次列下本季1-5集的影片：

第一集：本地優秀音樂製作人 Evan Low

第二集：本地傑出音樂治療師 Evelyn Lee

第三集：鼟樂團成員兼鋼琴家 Gabriel Hoe

第四集：新一代鼟樂團的成員！各個都好優秀！Ryan、XuanWen、SimKee、Alex 和 Parveen

第五集：本地資深唱片騎師 DJ KoFlow

剎那的永恆

最近忙完後終於有時間/心情坐下來好好打字。。。在此分享幾個月前作的詩《剎那的永恆》，有幸被好友 Koh Chengjin 取作素材，改編成同名揚琴-薩克斯風二重奏，並由Samuel Phua 和陈洁卿精彩演奏。

先前在新達城工作時，終於得以見著財富之泉全貌。雖然是人造建築，卻猶如瀑布般滂薄，著實令人震撼。多年來，財富之泉一直鎮守著新達城，也默默地守護著晨早起身和工作到深夜的上班族，讓人感到格外安心可靠。每天坐在財富之泉腳下的我也因此受到啟發，希望以此作來紀念這座不求回報、持續奉獻的財富之泉。

感謝 Samuel 在練琴之餘 還忙前忙後策劃這次的音樂項目 Stories from Singapore series（薩克斯風系列），真是太辛苦了！若大家想聽更多本地作曲家的作品，可以去 Samuel 的 Youtube 帳號。另外，要非常感謝 Chengjin 如此敏銳的詮釋，还有那即細膩又充滿爆發力的筆觸，给我的文字增添好多色彩和力量！

《愛蓮說》翻譯：Thoughts on Lotuses

《愛蓮說》宋·周敦頤

水陸草木之花，可愛者甚蕃。
晉陶淵明獨愛菊。
自李唐來，世人甚愛牡丹。
予獨愛蓮之出淤泥而不染，濯清漣而不妖，中通外直，不蔓不枝，香遠益清，亭亭淨植，可遠觀而不可褻玩焉。

予謂菊，花之隱逸者也；
牡丹，花之富貴者也；
蓮，花之君子者也。

噫！菊之愛，陶後鮮有聞。
蓮之愛，同予者何人？
牡丹之愛，宜乎眾矣！

.

“Thoughts on Lotuses” by Zhou Dunyi (1017 – 1073)

Of all the flowers that grows in waters, on land, in bushes, or on trees, 

Quite a few have much to be admired. 

Tao Yuanming from the Jin dynasty took a special liking to chrysanthemums,  

While people since the Tang dynasty have favoured peonies. 

I, on the other hand, am particularly fond of the lotus,

Which rises from the mud untainted,

And dips in clear water yet remains unplacating. 

Perching on stems that are hollow inside yet unbending outside, 

It does not spread or branch. 

Emitting a clear scent that spreads far and wide, 

As it stands upright and pure. 

Such is only fit to be admired from afar, not to be toyed around. 

To me, chrysanthemums are flowers of the recluse, 

Peonies, the wealthy, 

Lotuses? The virtous.

‘Tis a shame! Talks of the love for chrysanthemums are almost unheard of after Tao, 

I wonder who else shares my fondness for lotuses? 

The love for peonies, however, seems to be aplenty. 

–

一切都是那麼的不真實，有種隨時要幻滅的感覺。實在是受之有愧。感覺自己很幸運，集合了天時地利人和，才能獲得如此殊榮。感慨萬千。不過這一切不是終點，而是新的起點。我還有太多不足之處，會繼續努力的。